muddled fuddled

I'm getting all muddled fuddled...

Applying for uni is such a pain in my ass... This time round, i have be bloody stringent about choosing the CORRECT course. School fees won't be 30 plus dollars per term. Not like the schools i had previously attended and graduated. NO heavy subsidies from MOE. I cannot study halfway and change to another course like how a casanova changes girlfriends. No we talking about school fees in terms of 3 zeros per sem. Few Ks... oh gosh... Moreover, i'll be spending 3 years of more in that course. If i happen to hate/loathe the course after entering it, it'll be 'god bless me'...

I'm stuck in a dilemma. I think i should be more inclined towards science related courses but after more in depth reflections, after 10 years of slogging my lungs and heart out for science, do i actually like science? I did fantasise entering life sciences but two years of JC's bio held me and pulled me mercilessly back to reality. Did i enjoy bio? Maybe yes maybe no but a nagging feeling told me the degree in which 'i enjoy bio' triumps over 'i hate bio' is perhaps a milli fraction. This is an extremely vulnerable situation as it can be easily reversed. What if after taking life sciences, i start to discover that my interest doesn't really lies in science and i'm better off somewhere. I can imagine the monster named 'regret' creeping into my heart and pilfer off what's left of a little interest i have for science. That will then be the day-my heart had died for science....
*starts playing some tragic Mozart's music in the background*

My results kind of indicate that i'm more suited for arts. However, a part of me is intrigued by the idea of taking arts but on the other hand i'm afraid i can't cope. It'll be somewhat like entering a new realm and people tend to be nervous when thrown in a strange place that they hadn't set foot on before. What if i enter this new realm and find myself treading on thin ice. what if the fragile ice can't support me any longer and starts breaking? i'll find myself in another position. That's when my heart dies for arts and i shall arrange to be buried somewhere serence in the arts faculty.

So, either way i may be dying. That's why being normal,non-psychotic person that harbours no morbid thoughts of terminating my life sooner, I'm afraid of death. Hence, i'm agonising over which faculty and course to take. The more i ponder about it, the more painful my ass becomes. Such a pain in my ass-i repeat.

All the above sounds so serious and non entertaining... I need advice. haha! Abit like writing compo hor?

Went to Marina Square with Chan Mali yesterday. We had pizzas at pizzahut for lunch. We were elated at first cause we thought we could use our bluish ez link cards and proudly declare ourselves as students. BUT BUT BUT, according to the person who served us,the bluish ez link card with my horrible picture on it would not be recognised yesterday. Let me make myself clearer. There wasn't any student meals promotion yesterday because it was the eve of public holiday. OK!! Chinese New year eve,New year eve,Christmas eve i've heard. But, i've never heard of such thing as Good Friday's eve. It's not as though schools have half day or something. Imagine National Day's eve. Whatever lor... So we paid the full adult price. Whatever.

Anyway, we caught rule #1 (horror show). I love horror show and i always laugh at the wrong parts. People were spooked while i was there laughing. Chan Mali doesn't seem to fathom the reasons why i laughed at the wrong parts. I just find it funny. Well... who cares. Not everyone's brains are wired the same way. We don't think along the same path but that's ok.