Dun look grown up

I've officially dropped econs to h1 level. The transition stage is going to be tough as i have to adapt to new things but life goes on and econs will hopefully get easier...

I'm killing my brain cells over chemistry supplementary questions. CHemisty has the evil potential to kill... ARGH!!

I think i'm so so so busy nowadays. I spend more time in school than at home. I think i'm missing out alot of things happening within the family like delicious food and the usual stuff that i used to take for granted. My conversations with my family can add up to less than five sentences in a day. I'm saddened by that but life has to go on right? Anyway, things will be better in one month's time i guess, after syf is over.

I can end up spending more than 12 hours in school. Loathe the sight of school. I do nothing except to eat, bathe and sleep at home. This is only the first week of school and i already feel like dying. Must be at the midnight oil i had burnt to do homework.I'm sufferring from sleep deficit ... It's part and parcel of life when you're in jc. Like which jc student will get to enjoy 8 hours of beauty sleep. Certainly will be less than 10%. At this age (18), this is when sleep is important. What an irony. Try telling the school that... I'll get more sleep if there's lesser tests to be studied or homework.

Tests are supposed to let us apply the things we had learnt. assess on our learning conditions. Give us a chance to learn from our mistakes and hopefully not commit the same mistakes again. Tests are supposedly for us to pace our learning and stuff.

As if i have the time to study for the tests. Even if i studied, my brain will be too tired to function properly and i always end up with mental blocks thus flunking my tests. I'm so sick of failing...

Can anyone tell me how to cure/prevent mental blocks?

Anyway, let's not continue with unhappy stuff. went to my uncle's house this evening to take a look at his newborn. It's a girl. I can't imagine i used to be like this small when i was born 18 years ago. Can't believe i'm 18 years old already. Late adolescent stage which i'm still trying to come to terms with it. Will i grow up?

Uncle: (to my cousin) Wow! You've grown taller.
Uncle: (to me) You seemed to have shrunk.
Me: (Stumped) ... WHAT?!
Uncle: You sec what?
Me: JC 2
Uncle: What? So you're 16 ...?
Me: going to be 18 soon...
Uncle: 18??!!! (in a booming voice)
Uncle: You don't look like you're 18. You look small...
Me: HUH?!

Some people had already told me that i look younger than my age because i have chins (double chin) and chubby face. But i look at myself in the mirror. I think i look ok what. I look like 18 ma... During the chinese new year, alot of relatives thought that i was still in secondary school. My parents also don't treat me like a 18 years old young adult. My cousin thinks i don't look like JC2. i look like secondary 3/4... Weird... Why like that?

Ok. Enough rantings... Back to committing suicide. Kill brain cells as i do chemistry....