My mum had a friend who committed suicide by slashing his wrist. It's horrifying how he had ended his life. Personally, i don't think i have the courage to hold onto a sharp razor blade, create a horizontal line across my wrist, witnessing my blood gushes out and finally waiting for the final moment as my life slowly ebbs away. It's disconcerting and morbid. However, that guy had depression which had perhaps dulled his thinking, resulting in him taking the extreme method to end his life. It's even saddening to know that his colleagues and friends had no inkling that underneath the brave and jovial exterior, was a punctured soul, desperately in need for support. Nobody was there to help him through the darkest stage in life. Kind of reminds me the fact that we come to this earth alone and leave alone. Friends and family members can be bawling at your side while you take your last breath. But, they aren't dying and proceeding to another realm of life or whatsoever. So technically, the dying person is dying alone. Therefore i think it's important to take a notice of the people around you. Talk to them, show your love and care, show that at least something matters to them. Perhaps, lesser depressed people will choose the extreme way out.
Ok. Let's move away from such macabre topic. The spot light is on me. A lot of people had expressed shock and terror that i'm going to NTU instead of NUS. Maybe not a lot. It's a handful lot but because of their exaggerated and loud reactions that made me feel that i'd been confronted by a colony of people. Oh ya.. it's the prestige thing again. SInce they're my relatives, i had to hold my tongue and swallow all the sarcastic comments that i had, bubbling in my brain. They also prodded me for the reasons why i did not choose NUS blah blah blah... At one point of time, i was closed to losing my temper and i said something like "i think NUS sucks." I didn't want to go through the notion of explaining my reasons so many bloody times. Anyway, it was a good one as people were dumbfounded by my comment that they stopped talking and left things as they were. :) How i wish i can retort them using some stupid idiotic reasonings like "i'm going to NTU because the food there is nicer.", "i'm going to NTU because i like this particular trees there.", "i'm going to NTU because it's further away from my school and home and i won't get to see people i know easily. " Leave them comment-less.
Anyway, i'm comfortable with my decision and i'm not swayed or affected by their comments. However, that doesn't mean i'm not irritated, Simply because i don't like to repeat my reasons so many times like a play-back recorder and some even went the extra mile to say that i'm stupid for not choosing NUS.
In reality, i'm not stupid. I just have a bubble for a brain. In order to be stupid, you need to have brain which can't function efficiently, and that's what make you stupid. For me situation, i don;t have a brain, only air, so i'm NOT stupid. Whatever... I don't even understand what i'm trying to say. Bye.
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