rain collector

I've spent the entire day nuaing... Guilt ridden guilt ridden. Just had this immense lethargy swarming in me. Haha!



I just watched an episode of Ghost whisperer. It's so freaking sad can. Melinda's husband's spirit in now in another man's body and he can't remember who he is and what had happened to him.

It's so so so so sad on melinda gordon. Like losing your husband is not bad enough and to add on to the misery, your husband comes back in another person's body and has abolutely zero recollections of you. This is sad sad sad sad. I know it's just a show, it's not real but i can't help feeling emo. Chan Mali recommended that i have a tissue box on standby the next time i watch ghost whisperer.

Omg! i think i'm falling into the category of 'aunties who cry over their tissue box while watching sad weepy korean drama'.

I enjoy making fun of my cousin...

Me: EDEN!
Eden: what??
Me: i know u love me. I love u too
Eden: pooi!

Haha! Anyway, i'm still convinced that my cousin likes me. Guys being guys just refuse to admit.

Now i know why i always emo excessively in hall. That's because i'm missing my family's infectious laughter and humour. My family is a bunch of happy go lucky weirdoes. When i'm at home, i'm less likely to be infected by emo-ness.

Plus, staying in hall makes me feel lonely at times. Even though my roomie is in the same room as me, sometimes it's difficult to share things with her because it's just me. I have a multitude of layers around me and it's not easy to unwrap to know my true feelings. It's my weakness cause i limit the things i confide or share with some people and that's that. And, going to school is such a bore and a pain in the ass. Stress and all the crap.

Take it as a form of training... be strong be strong

Mummy and aunt mentioned about grandpa over dinner and gosh it reminds me how much i still miss him even though it had been years... well, perhaps this is my form of remembering him because my grandpa had a sea burial. He doesn't have a grave and my family doesn't pray during qing ming and stuff. Without any grave to visit, i can only search within myself for the memories as a form to remember him. After his death, my family donated his clothes to charity, sold his bike, shut his company. It's like removing traces of him not because we're cruel but as a form of acceptance of his death. Likewise, it can be said that we did that to compel ourselves to accept his death as having his things around would serve us nothing but to make us sad.

Oh gosh... i'm like emoing so much in one night. And not to mention the stuff i've told Chan Mali. Thanks Chan Mali for providing me with a listening ear.

I've used up my quota of emoing. Guess it's time for bed if not i emo somemore.