gain enlightenment

Here comes the jaw-dropping announcement, I've decided to go to NTU instead. After spending like so many days pretty sure that i were to go to NUS and convincing myself that i'll survive in NUS, this is like a sudden twist of fate. Funny right? I think my wanting to go to NUS was a delusion. It was against norm and sounded funny from the start.

Anyway, i have to thank Mel for the insightful chat we had last night. I got my 'enlightenment' from there. She threw me a simple question "why i want to go to nus." I mentioned about the me being a damn slack person and need stress to move my bum along my studies. She raised her friend saying that i'm her friend's opposite. Which is weird. I'm not sure whether from this point on, you, readers, will still understand what i'm saying. Normally, people, if possible, will tend to take the easy way out. Who likes being placed in a competitive and stressful place and enjoys seeing own's blood pressure shoots up into the sky? Since my reasons for choosing NUS was against the norm, that meant that i didn't want to go to NUS but was trying to self deceit/blindfold/brow-beat/convince myself into entering NUS. It's against the norm which means i actually do not want to go to NUS but trying to self-hypnotise myself into accepting NUS.

And i;ve noticed that for the past few days, i woke up telling myself that i'm gg to NUS, i actually felt a strong sense of reluctance and dread. This morning, i woke up, thinking that i'll be going to NTU, i felt happiness bubbling inside. And i actually don't mind going compared to the sense of dread shackled to my ankles i had felt when i was 'convinced' i was going to NUS. So, my heart has finally revealed its true feelings. I'm going to NTU like a happy nut and immerse myself in the vibrant environment. yay!! *skips around*

Went to JB yesterday. Dad drove us around. We went to City square and JUsco. It was good chatting with my cousin on the way. For once, i thought we'd drifted apart but no. I'm glad she had confided in me. At least it saves me on my worries. My dad met with a couplem of friends and all of us took the beaten tracks to a ulu kelong for dinner. Fortunately, the food was nice of not my enduring of the bumpy rides was for naught. The roads was bumpy and there were a lot of sharp turns and stuff. Outside the car, you see nothing but tall grass and humongous trees. Once in a while, maybe we saw a house standing in the midst of a forested area in solitude. The place was dark and deserted and we were wondering which sane person would want to live and get surrounded by nothing but nature. What if a slithery gargantuan anaconda comes into the house in the middle of the night. What about wolves with those eeriely glowing eyes in the dark and their howls capable to raise people's hairs. yuck... The road was like winding here and there and i really admire the person who managed to seek such a place for food. Totally amazing. So once again, it proves that singaporeans love food. Also, the food was delicious and dirt cheap. Pretty cool although there were an enormous army of mosquitoes there. It was like going to night safari minus the animals. Dark, mysterious, eerie, quiet, no street lamps ok. Must switch on hazel light. But cool.