Losing myself

I'm losing myself...

Where has ever so proud, strong and determined girl gone to?

In the mirror, i only see a despondent stranger. A stranger who doesn't radiate smile from within.

A stranger who is tired of everything.

A stranger who feels like giving up.

A stranger who doesn't have the will to carry on.

Today is one of the worst day of my entire life. I hit bottom of the empty pit.

I seriously thought i'll do better in some subjects and yet i was disppointed...

Even though promo isn't everything, it's nearly everything right?

The dam burst the moment i reached home. So it was tissue smeared with tears, mucus and blood. It's been years since my nose bled. How lucky can i get.

My family was shocked to me my sudden outpour and they remained super silent. But then, i rather much prefer them to ignore me cause the silence was somewhat deafening. Then after all the blood, tears plus mucus, i went up to my room and slept for three hours straight...

I'm tired, anyone understands? "change class then change class lor" It's easier said than done.

I know my family is giving me some time to cool down and stuff but somehow i rather much prefer them to rant at me or something. Offer a hug? Just one hug maybe i'll recover faster... If not lend a listening ear? Try to get me talking and stuff cause if i'm going to carry on like this, i'll lose myself.

Who can understand??????

Nobody...

I don't understand myself either.

"If you can't follow it, create your own culture." a quote from Melissa.

Thanks melissa! I'll only mope for today. Hopefully, i'll recover by tomorrow.

I got to treasure the last moments i have... ...

Whatever happiness there is, give it ALL to me...