Finally, i can wake up and give a genuine smile that radiates from within. No half-hearted, constipated, tired smile... No wonder people always say that they seek solace from their homes. There goes the saying 'there's no place like home'.

Actually, i had planned to stay back in hall till Saturday to complete my term essay and of course to have more time alone for self reflection. Mum smsed me saying that we'll be going for supper and to come home instead. Guess they were worried i would end up emoing alone in hall and no one would be there by my side to support me.

The moment i reached home, i had a counselling session. I've gained enlightenment. Glad to clear the preoccupations in me. Now i can finally sleep in peace.... Hmm... i always sleep in peace... Not a good example. Finally i am able to gain back my sense of humour.

Sorry for acting like a water fountain last week. Sorry for making friends and loved ones worried. Thinking back, i was acting like a sully, lethargic, exhausted, moody, bad-tempered, frustrated bitch last week. Freaking stressed up.

Even though i'm still stressed but the stress level has been shrank to a minimal level. I'm still physically and mentally tired... But at least i'm able to smile. :) Things aren't looking great now, yet, i can see humour in other things. AND, i don't have to hide my emotions anymore. It's tough trying to pretend everything's ok and hide from own's frustrations from others...

Rainbow signifies

optimism and happiness
My grey clouds are finally gone...

By hook or by crook, i'm going to pull through. I don't care whether my results sucks or what. As long as i do my best and i'm happy. I'm not going to bow down to the pressure and freaking mootood system. I want to be the happy care-free retard!

Finally, i've finally came out of the hole i had dug for myself.

Guess it's up to your own to climb out the shithole.

I'm shit-free.

Yay!

i'm deliberately dragging time so that i'll be late for lecture and avoid seeing the weird guy...

Mood's still volatile and prone to changes.

I feel like a pregnant woman ravaged by hormones and would get upset over the slightest thing...

The biggest pain is to fake nonchalant and pretend eveything's fine when things, in reality, aren't going smoothly. Or, trying to mask your true emotions from others. Suppress until the dam breaks...

It's just a random thought...

Thanks to roomie for being there when my dam suddenly broke....

What can i do now?? Dragging time...

Oh freak! It's 1.42 am now and i'm still not sleeping...

It's the second time i've broken down this week.

Went to take a walk just now to destress. Met friends on the way who cheered us up by cracking super lame jokes. Stopped by senior's room for herbal soup that was supposed to improve blood circulation. For that short amount of time, my preoccupations were being swept under the carpet.

And now back to my room, a sudden sense of loneliness and impending doom hit.

HAZEL LIM!!!!! U NEED TO BUCK UP!!!

i feel so much like a cry baby....

i hate myself for crying...

How??

stupid me....

It sucks being emo but i can't help being emo... I know one should move on and not dwell too much on certain stuff... Must learn to let go and have faith in myself... Once again, it's easier said than done... Mighty grey clouds above me...

I think i'll die a horrible death for exams. I should start preparing for my funeral rites in advanced... ...

Mootood Lecturer told us that last year, a lot of our seniors got A for a certain module and here goes.. "in order to decrease the number of people having As, we've made this yr's paper harder. Of course, if you guys do well, i'll still give you all your As." Like WTH??!! Even my normally mild mannered, calm and peace loving friend blurted out the F*** word. I think without even bothering to lift a finger to try to make the paper harder, i would still find it hard... ...

Today's tutorials as usual, couldn't catch what the tutors were trying to say... I was totally living in my own world with a blanket of grey clouds over me.

And then... ... it slowly led to me being plagued by a low self esteem attack. My age and level of stupidity have a direct relationship. To elucidate better, the older i get, the stupider i feel.

jack of some trades, master of none...

This sucks...

i'm ok

Thank you Mummy, Alvin, Dave, Hui Chan, Mel, Mingyan and SW!! U guys served to remind me that i'm loved and things are going to be alright... Time to stop wallowing myself in tears.

It's so un-characteristic of me to cry... But then once again, it's ok to cry.

I'm going to be alright because.. i'm hazel lim hui ting leh!

Positivity, optimism, determination, grit, persistence...

Hazel shall learn to take things in her stride.

I'm going to be fine fine fine....

Nobody trips over mountains. It is the small pebble that causes you to stumble. Pass all the pebbles in your path and you will find you ave crossed the mountains.
~Source unknown~

You have within you right now, everything you need to deal with whatever the world can throw at you. ~Brian Tracy~

Nothing lasts forever, not even your troubles. ~Arnold Glasow~

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

I can do it!!!!

Guess i shall stay back in hall till Saturday to finish up what has to be done. It's a matter of sacrificing nua-ing time at home on saturday.

JIAYOU!!!!!!!!

Accumulation of insufficient sleep. Dependence on caffeine. Feel like sleeping but can't sleep.

Exasperated, exhausted, tired, frustrated, moody, bad tempered...

Swinging swinging swinging...

I WANT TO SLEEP!!

BLOODY LAB REPORTS!!

*feel like crying and tearing all my hair out*

Freaking life...

Happy one month Anniversary!

Happy Happy Happy One month anniversary!

These are some of the reasons for me to smile.

Jiayou jiayou jiayou!!

There are so many things to ponder...

I wonder whether i can create miracles for my exams...

I wonder when on earth will i be able to see THE light in quantum theory, spectroscopy, thermodynamics and BS 104.

I wonder when lab reports are going to come to an end...

I wonder how on earth am i going to go about doing my term essay on politics

I wonder whether is it really ok when things aren't ok...

I wonder if i'm showing enough love and concern to people around me

I wonder is there anything such as lasting love & undying passion

I wonder if i can survive till i graduate

I wonder whether i'm cut out to be a bio student

I wonder where the hell is my ardour for Biology

I wonder whether i'll survive long enough to get married, have children and carry my grandkids...

I wonder... wonder... wonder....

i want to call my mummy badly and complain that i'm stressed but i don't want to make her worried about me

Hopefully, the quote that 'nothing lasts for forever, not even your troubles' still holds.

Was shocked to learn that Tablet guy quit school. Tablet guy ( i forgot his name) was this guy in my tutorial grp who always carried a tablet wherever he went. Hence, prompted me to nickname him this way... The moment Alvin told me about it, i was stunned. Tablet guy seriously looked like he was coping well with the shitty uni life. WHY ON EARTH DID HE QUIT SCHOOL when the person who totally should quit is still hanging on to the cliff with just her fingers. (the person is ---> *points to myself*) Sometimes, you just don't understand how people think and behave. Perhaps, there is this vacuum between how people think and behave...

Immature love says: I love you because i need you
Mature love says: I need you because i love you
~Erich Fromm~

Monday blues...

I'm not a major fan of lollipops and seldom do i eat it... Ate chupa lollipop yesterday did i realise oh gawd how i've missed it. Thanks Roomie for the lollipop. And no, i'm still not a fan of lollipop. Just that it's been a long time since i last ate a lollipop so it kind of triggered wonderful memories from my childhood...

I'm suffering from monday blues... ARGH! A colossal pile of things to be done... Finish two lab reports per week and two more will spring up. It's like a dreadful and never-ending cycle. Shitload of stuff shitload of stuff shitload of stuff to be done....

AND my long dreaded term essay for govt and politics!!!! AH!!! What can i write about? Erm... 'i'm a apathetic teen. I can't be bothered with politics and therefore this is the failure of singapore's politics because it has failed to generate my interest for it.' AHHHH!!!!!!

Stress Stress Stress!! I can totally visualise my whole head of hair dropping...

The disgusting hormones in me is making me feeling so emotional. I can have emotional outbursts anytime... Hormones!! AH!!!

I'm badly in need of a HUG!! *sniff*

Today's blog is dedicated for the good old days...

I miss my JC's friends...

Chan Mali, the girl who understands me and doesn't mind my weirdness and still

hangs out with me despite the embarrassing things i've done.

Great minds think alike clone!

Squeezing fishballs out of my face!

we smiled despite being damn shagged after road run

My lover, Sarah dear!!

Miss flirting with her.

Act cool...

huichan, me, jiaxian, cherylene

Caught sleeping in LT

Class pic

Caught whispering lovey dovey words to lover!

The 7 of us!!

The beach provided some sort of solace for us.

Whenever we were stressed, chan mali and i would go to the beach and chill out.

Miss having fun at the beach!

saying hi! to the beach..

For nation leh??

The tj wishing fountain. I've ever thrown a 5 cent coin wishing i would pass econs.

I wonder whether is it because of the miserly amount cause

my wish didn't come true

Let me clarify, i'm not a patriot of tj. i just miss the fun days we had

and of course my dear friends!

7 of us again!

Crying shouldn't be seen as a problem. It is just a reaction to a problem. Hence, it's ok to cry. According to experts, crying helps placate the emotions. So dear friends, don't be afraid to cry. So long as we pick ourselves up after the entire episode. Jiayou!!

Feeling nostalgic... T.T

HATE LAB REPORTS! F + 3 stars them! Deadlines deadlines deadlines. Two lab reports per week is a mojo killer. One fine day, i shall succumb and people have to bury me together with my incomplete lab report.

I'm caught off guard. I'm caught off guard. I'm caught off guard. I'm caught off guard.

By what??!!

The sickening uni life.

I can feel this canopy of emoishness descending on us. Could it be because exams are coming? emo emo emo.

Even though i'm not extremely emo now but somehow it's difficult to you know... rise above the fray and pretend that everything's fine. I can see the greying of my life. Emoishness is seeping in. Friends around are emoing too. Jiayou!!

Late at night, still awake and doing some shitty stuff. That's when the overwhelming urge to sob and tear out my hair comes. Since crying wastes time and it's foolish to waste time when there's already insufficient time, must as well divert my energy and focus on the things to be done instead. chop chop done and go sleep.

Mootood insect

I've been ravaged by mootood insects!!

Mootood mootood insects. ARGH!! The climax of the entire situation is that i've developed some weird and unexplainable allergic reaction to the mosquitoes bites. My right hand, right arm, right leg are swollen. Damn itchy!! So i'm constantly mopiko-ing (applying mopiko). During lecture, tutorial, in my room and even when i'm out for a walk, mopiko never left me. My beloved companion.

The lack of sleep had caused me to do damn embarrassing things. I was filling up my water bottle when i started to look around and stoned. During that milli-second of stoning, my hand shifted and the water from the water cooler hit a part of my water bottle and started rebounding and splashed onto my shirt. WTH! I had to carry my backpack in front in order to cover the unsightly damp spot.

Quiz is over!! I'm HIGH!!

Busy busy life

I'm a caffeine addict.

Caffeine=Legal Drug

Which means I=Legal Drug Addict

Legal Drug Addict-Legal=Drug addict

So to sum it up, i am a drug addict...

Woo la la! I'm supposed to get ready for softball but i'm still stuck in my room. Reluctance compelled me to stay. I'm tired ok...

Quiz this thurs and i've barely touched. It's obvious that i have this urge to give up.

My throat feels weird and i'm praying i'm not going to fall sick. Itchy throat normally will mutate to become sore throat plus fever then flu then cough... It'll suck BIG time if it really happens.

I'm sleep deprived. My eyes resemble a big bear from China.

i'm talking nonsense on a higher frequency and do silly stuff. But then, i've always been talking nonsense.

I want to go NTUC. Shopping spree.

Miss the wondrous feel of wind brushing across my skin and the salty smell wafting from the sea as i cycle down East Coast Beach.

Life is not a bed of roses

It seems like every family has its own problems. The almost naive idea that i had of my family as the 'model' family without much conflicts and everyone just settles in snugly and happily now appears childish. To delve in deeper, i don't even have a complete family to begin with. But i've adjusted and come to this stage of life whereby i'm comfortable with telling people my complicated state of family.

i'm emoing but not overly so. Just slightly emo because like any other humans, i'm resistant to changes. I'm going to move house again for some reasons. I've just moved house like two years ago. Moving house is a pain in the ass. So much stuff to be moved. Furniture to be bought or recycled? i'm not sure... My notes and textbooks should be sufficient to kill people.

A source of relief is that my aunty and cousins and grandma will still be with us. If they aren't living with me, i think i'll go ADM and row down the teletubbies slopes and pray that i break my neck. Not that i have anything against my mum but my aunty and ah ma are the ones who really brought me up when my mummy was busy earning bread and butter for me. I'm close to them. I've watched my cousins grow up and i treat them like my own siblings. Of course won't bear to part with them what...

I feel sad for my grandma too. The house that i'm still living in was bought in a bid to bring everyone under one roof. Now, my uncle wants to branch off and create his own little happy family. There's absolutely nothign we can stop to avert it or tweak the fact that he's going to get married in one month's time.

Nevertheless, i'm pissed because it's freaking one month=31 days=744 hours=44640 minutes. (it'll be extremely pervertic if i talk about seconds...) Like wow!! we can do so much stuff in one month. Move house leh! Not play play la! WTH/F!

My ever so mature 14 years old cousin speculated and told me maybe the woman he wants to marry is expecting and they have to hurry up take action before the baby bump shows. I think TV has corrupted her mind... or her mind is already corrupt from the start. I don't know...

Oh gosh! I'm stuck in NTU and all of a sudden so many things happen at the other side of singapore.

Stupid org chem quiz

I loathe organic chem!!

It's bloody frustrating when you study something and as you proceed to another chapter, you have forgotten what you had supposedly studied in the previous chapters... The perennial issue of studying and forgetting is getting on my nerves.

i had my first quiz on organic chem today!!

I couldn't recollect the stuff that i've studied in the midst of doing the test. So, i don't have much high hopes of it. Was pretty downcasted after the test. Not because i was emoing or anything because i can't be bothered but i was tired. zapped of energy... I'm ok now. Not emo. Not even touching the boundary of being emo. I'm not emo.

Two lab reports per week is killing! 1 comp lab report and 1 wet lab report. I have an accumulation of lab reports to be done. No choice but to burn midnight oil throughout the night. Have to finish 2/3 lab reports by today or rather tomorrow... whatever. But i have a colossal amount of things to do.

1) update blog
2) softball trg
3) take pics for IHG
4) dinner (it's an important thing ok!)
5) pa-tho-logy ( ;-P)
6) bathe (hygiene is important)
7) do lab reports till tomorrow

That's the result of not having CAs. Our lab reports will be taken into account for CAs marks. WTH! Stress...

One interesting fact: 68% of our brain is made up of lipids. So, from now on, i shall not complain that i'm fat because my fats are (i assume) put into good use. That is to build up my brain... Plus, fats in our body serves as thermal insulator. I'm being environmentally friendly by saving resources so that i won't need to purchase jackets to be worn for lectures. see...

During lecture, the lecturer was talking about contraceptives being made of lipids and Alvin immediately turned to look at me asking me whether i'm consuming contraceptives. OMG! Can't people see that i'm innocent, pure, chaste and most importantly, underage?

Why does everyone want to judge me?? *draw circles on the ground* WHY??!! *draw somemore*

Had hand delivered muffins! *B-L-I-S-S*

What we did during last friday's wet lab session: Extracting caffeine from tea leaves Had to boil the tea leaves and filter
Did everything at the fume cupboard

Filtered around 2/3 times...

The remaining tea leaves

I feel indignant about this... We were supposed to have comp lab session on Monday and lo and behold, we didn't have computers. Ended up four people had to share one computer. How pathetic it was...

Supposed to look exasperated because we didn't have computers

Cam whore... haha!

Mingyan and Alvin!

We did a kuku thing ok... Alvin had this mild intention to pon tutorial cause it was raining rather heavily this afternoon. I tried to convince him otherwise because for that particular tutorial, answers won't be posted and we had to be there physically to copy down the answers. Despite the melancholic weather, we pushed ourselves on to go for the tutorial. It was a pathetic sight seeing the three of us huddled under our own individual umbrellas.

We waited damn long for the stupid shuttle bus before it finally and thankfully came. The misfortunate part was the bus was heading for the terminal. We alighted at the terminal and Alvin had this spontaneous idea of going canteen b to drink bubble tea instead. So, in the end, despite braving the rain. Despite moving my ass out of my room very much reluctantly, we still ponned out tutorial in the end. haha!

I'm a ponstar!

The result of sleeping too much

I have 830 lecture tomorrow and here i am blogging... I'm supposed to be lying on my bed and slowly drift off to lala land but i can't. I seem to have an abundant amount of energy in me because i've slept too much. Slept at 12 plus the previous night and woke up at 9. Breakfasted and went back to sleep. (Please do not emulate me because this is the best way to gain weight) I woke up at 11 plus. Read through my notes on the disgusting organic chem while snacking on Pocky sticks. Feel asleep at 3pm which i attribute it to the after lunch syndrome. Woke up 45 mins later. And continued to roll on my bed. So what i'm trying to say is i'm not sleepy even though i'm doing retarded things like pouring water into my bowl instead of my cup but my mind isn't tired. I can only blame the retarded things i'd done on plain stupidity. That's me.

it's almost surreal that after being in a 4 years hiatus, finally someone wants me... haha! i thought my market shut down liao... it's almost surreal that someone can actually like a kuku like me... Like me for who i am... Ok... enough of the mush talk.

i don't know what i'm typing

i'm glad to say i'm blessed with wonderful friends who are protective of my private life. They don't reveal things even under several proddings of others. Zai! That's why i must emphasise that i'm damn fortunate to have friends like them.

This is a random blog. I don't know what to type. I feel like drinking chocolate milk but kitchen is downstairs and i'm just too nua to go down just for a cup of chocolate milk. Yups. I'm hungry but for the same reason, i'm just too lazy rolling on my bed and can't bring myself to go down to forage for food. I'm having backache. Must be the old sports related injury that comes and goes whenever it wishes. I can sleep practically anywhere. My mum and friends can vouch for that. I'm a sleepy nua pig.

i shall go sleep. This is like another senseless post by a senseless person.

Happy Children's day!

HAPPY CHILDREN"S DAY!!!!!

Feeling nostalgic... According to Chan Mali, today's MY day. I'm undisputedly young at heart. Let me think back wistfully to the good old days in primary school... During Children's day eve, our teachers would put up some lame skits. Of course, i'm not being critical here. The skits were really lame but i'm appreciative of the effort made by our teachers. If we were lucky to have a generous form teacher, the form teacher would treat us to pizzas. But, that is if we had a generous teacher... Some of our teachers would give us little gifts such as ruler, pen. eraser, notebook. Even though it may mean nothing much but somehow we were easily contented when we were young. Perhaps, it's the thoughts that count. My school would give us some food (tidbits or chocolates perhaps?) and yakult drinks.

it's up to us to create wonderful memories. I'm so going to get out of pulau ntu later and celebrate children's day. Ice cream and nice food later. Today's a perfect excuse to pamper myself! tadah!!

I'm supposed to be doing tutorial but i've ended up HERE instead... Just feel like blogging even though i have no idea what to blog about. My sianified life.

Tonight will be a night of solitude. Roomie is going home while i'll be staying back because i think it's a waste of time to go home plus i can't stomach the fact of taking the 2 hours bus-train-bus ride back. Even though i do miss home and my smelly bed but i'm ok with staying in hall as well. So, it's the 'anything is fine' attitude just as long as i have a bed will do. Anywhere will be fine.

During this night of solitude, i'm going to sit cross legged on my bed and do some self reflection and pondering. I don't seem to know WTH is going on during lectures. I seem to flitting in and out of tutorials without gaining much understanding or knowledge. I'm in a whirlpool to nowhere. Whirling around without a sense of direction.

Guess it's time to pull up my socks. i should start mulling over things and be less lost. Last but not least I hate organic chem and biophysical chemistry. Like WTH. Actually i don't seem to have much interest in the things that i'm studying. Really admire those who study with passion when i can;t even muster out 0.01% of the so called 'zest to study'. Hazel, this is pathetic. I shall go draw circles on my bed...

Yesterday's F1 was a major Boo Boo!! WTH went wrong with ferrari?? My Massa and the stupid oil pipe attached incident... Where was the lollipop man when sugar was needed the most?? AH!!

But, let me emphasise, i'm not emo. Just felt it was a let-down. Initially though Raikkonen would be the saving grace. Ferrari's damn down on their luck.

I'm supposed to be having comp lab now! But i've given up acting intellectual while pretending to stare at the computer screen blankly. Looking pro and understand everything when in fact i don't know what the hell is going on. Went facebooking just now and decided to update my blog...

i don't know what the hell is going on... i don't know what i'm doing... Life is a whirlpool!

casual observation

My casual observations brought about some conclusions:

1) Guys generally have a better sense of direction than girls

2) Guys are generally better in IT stuff than girls

3) Guys are generally more thick-skinned than girls

4) Guys are generally less blur than girls

I'm not stereotyping. Note the word 'generally' . Of course the feminist part of me does agree strongly that there are exceptions to my own conclusions. For eg: some girls have a better sense of direction of the shopping malls.

As for me, i have a hopeless sense of direction and most of the time, i just grovel my way through based on instinct or pure luck. Even if i'm given one year to familiarise myself with NTU, i think i'll still get lost. I shall go purchase some idiot's guide to a better sense of direction. if such book exists...

i've painted my nails pink... Don't ask me why... it's all Bash's fault that's making me feel so spastically girly... i only painted three of my fingers and was about to give up when mummy miraculously appeared to save me from further damage.

I expect myself to feel weird and uncomfortable later when i'm in the black dress (my mum's one actually) and a pair of shoes which are supposed to look gold but actually aren't. The theme for bash is 'black and gold' btw. I don't have those bling bling eye catching gold stuff. Gold is not my cup of tea yet... Ask me again 30 years down the road. Maybe my opinion will change then.

My whole body is covered with insects' bites. I'm going to die from over exertion trying to scratch the horrendous red bumps. Damn itchy can! AH!! Stupid insects! I was mostly bitten at the field during softball training... I'm going to buy a carton of insect repellant soon.

When life gets too stressful, it's up to me to make myself better by indulging in comfort food... BUBBLE TEA!! My all-time favourite!
TADAH!! MY LOVE!

WHEE!!

I-SCREAM!! Sinking into a world of ecstasy.

*drool*

Such are the simple joy of life...

Saw this at a lantern festival at Chinese Garden. 'In teaching, there should be no class distinction.'

Try telling our professors to boycott quizzes and exams since Confucius said there shouldn't be any class distinction in learning. Try telling our beloved MOE to eliminate PSLE, Streamings, O levels and A levels...

I shall try to email this pic to my professors tomorrow... (if i have the time) haha!!

Boycott quizzes!!

I've ponned my 104 lecture to do my lab report. Why aren't i doing my lab report now? that's because my tutorial grp mates are off to lunch. I shall wait for them to feed their stomachs first before we start doing on our stupid comp lab report. It's really a colossal waste of time. Ah!!

I think some people may know about my emo-ishing plan... Here's how it goes. I'm going to pick a day whereby i'll go down to the carpark, sit on the floor, draw imaginary circles on the ground while waiting for things to miraculously happen like for instance: no more quiz forever, a year's supply of icecream/pocky biscuits, lectures become fun. And i really hope an Audi car will appear somewhere along my plan. Why?? Take a look below:

4 circles! Overlapping somemore. Doesn't it just complete the picture perfectly? It totally fits the theme since i intend to draw circles on the ground .

Is it just me or does anyone see the amusement in it? AHHH!!! I think i'm going bonkos. Retarded i am.

BS 101: We complete one chapter of JC's bio topic in one chapter. Fast paced. Scary!
BS 102: It's called the trip sci module. Biophysical chem. Damn disgusting. I can SO predict my impending death.
BS 103: Organic chem. How fun can organic chem get? disgusting.
BS 104: Biomolecules. The notes suck. Too many diagrams. Not much explanations. Self study to be done
HE 191: Econs... boring...
HA 205 : Govt & politics. I've already made the decision to S/U it.

That's some of the reasons why my life sucks.

OKKK!! My aim to be a model student compelled me to go for lectures and tutorials. However, the indifferent manner in the way lessons are conducted are starting to make me question: why am i even here? This is the harsh reality of life. I can only take it as it is. Hopefully, i won't let the prosaic side of my life get me. Regular checks on my emotions. Drawing circles on the ground like a super emo kid is actually therapeutic.

One last whine before i go. Some of of my tutors really suck. They are giving themselves self-tuition/revision, blabbering on and 90% of the things only they themselves can understand, boring, can't be bothered, boring... Sometimes i really feel like using my slippers and throw at them. Frustrating. Guess i have to be attuned to such detritus of my everyday life. If not, my lifespan is going to get shortened...

SIANZZ!!

Now i really feel like crying. My roomie aka Mingyan has gone home. She's having fever and muscle cum joints pain. Although my heart pains for her, a part of the pain is reserved for me too. I'm in a highly geared state of emoish-ness. I'm prepared to sit at the carpark later and draw circles on the ground in a bid to pass time as i wait for a car to knock me down.

i smsed Mingyan that i'll be fine and she doesn't need to worry about me. in fact, I'M NOT!! OMG! i'm so NOT fine. And so NOT going to be fine. I'll miss Mingyan. Imagine i have to sleep alone tonight in the austere tiny room wtih nothing to entertain me except myself. Can anyone imagine the pitiful scene?? Hopefully Mingyan won't chance upon this blog entry. It'll aggravate her condition by making her worry.

I'm OK! It's ok what. I can survive on my own...

OK!! That was SO pretentious and unconvincing even i'm NOT convinced.

I'm going to coop up in my room today, do nothing except to mope. I'm not going for softball. Don't feel like doing tutorials. Don't feel like going for tutorials. I just want to sit on my bed and emo. Thank you!

Had practical today. I think practical is fun but writing lab reports sucks BIG time. Hate doing lab report. It's nauseating and stomach-upsetting. All the different pHs...

Mingyan measuring the pH levels

Us!

Nice colours!

Ah... i'm so sick of school. Help!

I don't know how to feel... I'm leading the life of a bumble bee. I'm cranky at times because of the lack of sleep. But then, this is what i've chosen. I'm not happy to lead this kind of life. It will be a blatant lie to say that i like having the life. It'll sound disgustingly pretentious and unfathomable. Moreover, i'm worried about the academic aspects. I think i'm not coping very well with all different modules and crappy electives. I reckon i'm half submerged in shithole now.

AND, i wonder who was the one who said that uni's life is more relaxing compared to JC's. To me, it's comparable and sometimes even tougher. I wonder whether the seniors who came back to JC were on a mission given by their universities to try to project universities as a fun, happening, relaxing stress-free place. What bullshit!

Things that i'm involved in:
(just a mental note so that i'll be haunted)

-JCRC stuff (every now and then)
-24 sept Hall Bash at ButterFactory
-11 Oct D&D
-Trainings for IHG games (every week and i'm thinking of joining 3 games which means 3 trainings every wk. I hope they clash)
-High chance i'll be stuck in NTU for the whole of dec hols
-Pick up IT skills (URGENT!!)
-Be a model student
-Catch up with my school work (i don't understand some lectures. Freak!)
-Be a model student (is this like repetitive?)
-Learn to survive on 4 to 5 hours of sleep
-Tired but still push myself on with a smile

Jiayou to myself. I can do it!!

Nothing lasts forever, not even troubles.

Due to lack of sleep, i keep talking rubbish. I said something like "pandas are endangered animals and we should PRESERVE them.." Conserve sia... That drew a lot of laughter. And the problem was, i didn't notice my mistake even after blurting it out until a senior pointed out and laughed at me. haha!! damn funny can! Add salt and vinegar to the panda.

i'm running out of things to say...
my brain is comatose.
Bye!