0.04% may seem insignificant but it still has the ability to make a difference. That's how much votes i had more than Esther to get into JCRC...

Well, it's pretty saddening that not all my friends get the chance to be in JCRC. I had really hoped to work with them. Hopefully, they can join the subcomm and help out with hall's activities. I really want to work with Kwan HX.

Anyway, it was worth the experience. I hope that i won't have to go up in stage again and say that i'm a shy person. I mentioned sth like "i'm shy so it's a personal challenge for me to stand on this stage and speak to all of you." Immediately after the rally, many came forward to shoot me. Apparently to them, i'm far from shy although i like think that i'm a shy person.

Well, just hope i'll be able to do a fine job. I'm more worried about the time management part though. However, i think i should be able to pull through. Just cut down on my slacking/stoning time and spend more time doing more fruitful things. Things should be able to turn out fine. Plus, i have support from my friends. yay!

So, im aiming towards being a model student and responsible plus respectable A. Pub. All the best to me! Just do it!

Now, let's bitch. I have this senior whom i particularly loathe. We were famous for the wrong reasons because of him. He's as irritating as a cockroach. And i hate cockroach so that pretty much can explain how much i 'adore' him. Last Sunday, by a morbid twist of fate, i had to sing duet with him. Yuck! Before rally, he tried to scare me by saying that he would ask me question and then ask me to sing on stage. If not, he won't vote for me. Like WTH. All that i just shrug it off. However, it has reached an incorrigible point and totally made my blood boiled when he walked up to me during the elections and said in front of my face that TJ's group PE shirt very ugly. Like WTF??!! I know Tj's sleeveless group pe shirt isn't that fantastic or branded with LV, Gucci or something. But, that senior's EQ is totally buried in the centre of the earth. And he went off saying that VJ's pe shirt is nicer blah blah. Honestly, i swear i didn't have the i-care-about-how-your-pe-tee-used-to-look-like look. That senior's EQ must have been blasted off to space and cannot be found again. He has no EQ and nearly everyone dislikes him with a few even condemning him. This is sad but then i further convinced he totally deserves it. Like WTF. Insulted my pe shirt. Bloody hell!

Just realised i have a lot of things to do next week. Wonder whether i'll be able to survive... hai~

Heave a sigh relief

Finally, i can heave a sigh of relief. The scariest part of running JCRC would be the rallying session yesterday as we stood on stage to introduce ourselves and faced possible gruelling questions tossed unceremoniously towards us from the seniors. Thankfully, the position i'm running for -Asst Publication doesn't have much to ask about. i only had to answer one question while some had to answer 3/4. 1 question is already freaky enough. We had to think on our feet. Imagine having to answer 3/4 questions, our feet will rot at the end of the day. Anyway, it's over. Shall not hover too much over it.

I'm actually quite proud of myself for taking the initial step out to try running for JCRC. I don't plan to have a proper CCA. Most probably will get a recreational one which i can go as i please. Without a CCA and a sense of purpose in doing things beyond academics, i just feel that my life wouldn't be complete. Hence i submitted the form to run for JCRC in a bid to hopefully do something to add more colour and diversity to my life and not just be an isolated, friendless, lonely mugger. I'm obviously not cut out for such rallying and campaigning stuff. I'm overall quite shy what. (i mentioned this in my speech and was shot at by my friends soon after) I AM SHY WHAT!!

Huixian is running for cultural sect. If she and i are able to get the positions we're running for, it'll be totally cool! We had been working together for years. sec 3 &4: class chair and vice chair, same CCA in JC and now, JCRC. Totally rocks can! Provided i can get my position la.

Judging from the audience's response, as usual, i said something funny and erm... shocking during the rally. I saw seniors snickering and laughing can. Scary la. But i shall not say what i'd said. Anyway, i don't really remember what i've said.

Anyway, if i'm in JCRC, i'm prepared to try my best and give my utmost support. Jiayou!! Whether i'm worried about the results? While, i'm leaving it to fate. Chill!

Challenging myself

I've decided to run for JCRC. JCRC stands for Junior Common Room Committee. I'm running for Asst Publications. Basically, the job scope is to maintain the website, publish articles and fliers on hall events, stand in when the Pub head is MIA and of course to take pictures of any hall events.

AND, i'm stressed. Next monday got to do the walk-around-and-bang-at-every-door to introduce ourselves. Tuesday will be the rallying. I have to go up on stage and introduce myself and then there will be a Q&A session. I'm worried i'll blank out and have nothing to say on stage. Imagine hundreds pairs of eyes staring at you. Scary can! AHHHHH!!!!!!!! I'm worried i'll stutter on stage and make a fool of myself. I'm preoccupied that i'll flunk the Q&A session by not knowing how to answer the question or say something unintelligible or idiotic. AHHHH!!!!!!!

I have my reasons for joining JCRC. The obvious being that i want to stay in hall but that's not the most important reason of all. If i were to rewind back to my JC's days, i was the class rep and in SYF. I know being the class rep in like chicken feet compared to JCRC and stuff, however i think there are still some overlapping principles. Responsibility is one aspect. I had to organise things like CIP, help put with go green day and collect forms or other sorts of information from the GO and of course to cheer up the class when the sky got too overcast. Even though the class rep is like a minor role, i've gotten the chance to learn more about communicating with others and of course to lead them when the situation called for it. Communication works both way. You want people to listen to you, you have to listen to others first. To lead others, you have to set up a good role model. Respect and trust have to be earned. In addition, they can't be taken for granted. Principles like that, i've understood them from years of being class rep. As for SYF part, i've learnt a lot on commitment and of course the principle of 'success come after hard work' echoes loudly in me.

So, after having an active JC life, i want to do the same now. I strongly believe that one can;t learn everything from the textbook. It's through some events, commitment and reponsibility can we nourish our souls and really grow up. Also, i want to challenge myself by running for it so that i won't live with regrets and start whacking my heart everyday for not taking the step out to run for JCRC. I want to live a more meaningful life and not just focus on studies. Indulging in such hall's activities can add more colour and hopefully values to my life. Anyway, i'm proud of myself for joining JCRC. The initial step is always the hardest and i've overcome it. To me, half of the battle has been overcome. Half more to go. Hazel shall jiayou!! Plus i already confirm have three friends-mingyan, ruiying and jieying voting for me. Confirm three votes liao. yay!

Life sucks

All right... Now i have two electives so what's next? The second elective i've chosen is ver much considered a suicidal attempt. I'm so going to die and suck horribly in it. The elective i'm going to take is -- (drums roll) Govt and politics of Singapore.

Course content: This course introduces organisation theory and behaviour in public organisations. Topics includes organisational environment, goals and effectiveness, strategic planning, power and decision-making, culture and value, structure and control, leadership, motivation, and communication. It also analyses the strategies of organisational change and development that make public organisations more efficient, effective, responsive, accountable, and innovative in complex and dynamic environments to meet the challenges confronting government today.

So i'm going to get all fired up and propagandistic. Walk around the school, drumming up people's support for PAP. Send my emotions firing to the max when addressing the crowds. Persuade people to support the government with aplomb. Give out fliers to fellow students. And not to mention, memorising large chunks of texts on the history of singapore's politics and regurgitate them out during exams. Write super long paragraphs until my fingers putrefy and fall off one by one. Risk falling off my chair during lectures and hurting myself as a result due to my inability to stay wake during lectures.

Anyway, the entire process of getting electives really sucks man. I was so desperate for an elective that i really went to look at this elective called the 'Tang poetry' for available places. I was at my wits' end. Even that elective did not have any available places. LIKE WTH! ok... ok... ok... but then i think my courage was commendable since i brashly went and considered taking tang poetry as an elective without first considering my chinese standard which a large morsel of it has been returned to my teachers.

My og mate expressed shock that i speak chinese. He went "ehh.. hazel. U got speak chinese one meh?"

I'm effectively bilingual man. My english and chinese standards in terms of conversational measures are not bad i think. I think la... I also had friends in TJ who thought i was those kangtang people also known as potatoes. In layman's term means those english speaking people la. I like to think it's because of the four years spent in tkgs which had made me potato-fied.

anyway, im at home! no lessons for today. Only for this wk. Nxt week i won't be able to go home on fridays. Sad...

Thousand matters bugging me

There are like 1000 matters bugging me and seriously, i'm not kidding.



Matter 1: Electives

According to the curriculum and advice given by my school, it's highly advisable for us to take 2 electives. I already have one which is econs, the one subject which i'm less than enamoured of. I'm still sourcing for another elective but it seems like most electives are taken up by people, meaning there's no available places for me. Plus, even if there are spaces for some electives, they may clash with out timetable. Thus, we had no choice but to reluctantly bid goodbye to the electives. In addition, some electives require prerequisites which i don't have. Hence, rendering N-O to the electives. I'm emoing now.... I really have to take 2 electives according to the advice given because in later sems, i'll most probably be too busy to muddle about electives. Have to concentrate on my core subjects instead. ARGH!! This is so infuriating man!



Matter 2: Biophysics



I have to take physics ok! AND i'm obviously not pleased with the idea of taking physics. I hate physics. Period. I couldn't understand physics in sec sch ok. Now, we have to take physics without bridging modules and it's crap man. I'm struggling to understand but question marks never fail to surface to disturb me, impeding my attempt to understand physics and all the 'sophisticated 'principles'. WTH!!! My hair is going to drop soon. Really! no joke! I hate physics. (i'm trying to emphasise the last sentence)

Matter 3:

Should i run for JCRC? If i'm running for JCRC which is a hall comm and its main purpose is to organise activities for the entire hall. Reasons being i think it'll be a platform for me to learn useful and valuable lessons like leadership, organisation and management and team-spirit. The same old things. Plus, i can get to stay in the hall! I absolutely hate commuting. Really! Can't stand the idea of enduring 2 hours of train and bus rides home everyday to and fro. I rather die man...

However, being in JCRC will be far from lying on a bed of roses. I have to be mentally prepared for challenging tasks and of course, busy!! That's a pretty terrifying though. Another thing which turns me off is campaigning part. The rigours of repeating 'please vote for me' one thousand and ten times make me shudder. Yikes!! So how?? Die liao la. Life's confusing...

Matter 4:

I'm endeavouring my best to be a model student which is an extremely daunting task. I like to go for lectures promptly but the shuttle bus always gives me heart attacks by feigning nonchalant and doesn't want to come when i want to take a ride from it. Damn annoying can! I model student leh. Need to reach the LT punctually, sit at the table, prepare all my notes, get ready my pen and wait for the lecturer to come. I can't enter the LT hurriedly, everything not ready, got to scoop into my bag for stuff. That's so unlike of a model student's behaviour.

Matter 5:

Is it matter 5? Whatever... anyway, i miss having uniforms to wear.I miss my mouldy green leated skirt and drawstringed blouse. I'm tired of having to contemplate what to wear everyday. Mull over the pros and cons of wearing a particular outfit before deciding what to wear blah blah blah. Having a uniform means i don't have to mull over such nitty gritty details. Just pull the clothes over my head and leave. Fullstop. No commas.

Matter 6:

I'm eating a lot. i can spend like 10 bucks per day eating which is not exactly a very paltry sum. In fact, it's humongous i think. I'm eating a lot and not exercising. I expect myself not to be able to fit through the gates of my house soon. Not to mention the near daily supper. Snacking on famous amos cookies or some other biscuits. I'm going to grow fat and fugly. Oh shit!

Matter 7:

This isn't too much of a concern but i just feel like typing it out. I suggested getting a pet to mingyan. Our pet should be terrapin. If i'm going to get a terrapin, i'm going to name it Guigui. So cute right? However, mingyan brought up a point that terrapins grow very fast. I came up with a wondrous idea. If our Guigui becomes too large, we'll just dump it into nanyang lake. Cool right?

Matter 8:

did i mention i'm going to grow fat? anyway, let me reiterate that. i'm growing fat!

Matter 9:

Now i having a loss for words. Oh ya!! Don't know what ECA to join. If i join JCRC, i'll solely focus on that and nothing else but if i don't join, i have to get a ECA to earn points right? which brings me back to matter 3. Join JCRC or not. I think i'm not that campaigning kind of material. oh sheesh! WTH! Erm... ECA is so primary school-ish ... Still used to CCA.

I'm bugged. the above matters prove so...

Because i've stood up for singapore, i don't have lessons tomorrow. yay!! However, i'm not too sure whether i have practical lessons or not. I just simply assume i don't have practical lessons and if there's practical lessons, i most probably be blacklisted by my prof and risk having my reputation as a model student tarnished. If this really happens, my future is going to be so bleak. Seriously. My whole life is about aiming to be a model student. i won't pon lectures and tutorials unless i'm down with some infectious disease. Model student hurray!

I personally find hall life quite fun. I went in without any hopes that i'll like the place. I even envisioned myself hugging my roomie-Mingyan and bawl loudly in our room as we get all emotional and home-sick. In actual fact, that didn't happen although it's funny imagining it. Our seniors were of wonderful help. Helped us get settled down and stuff. The hall camp served as a channel for us to make more friends. We kind of bond and hang out with each other. Sometimes, our seniors will drag us down to the meeting room to gossip and chit-chat. To sum it up, hall life is interesting.

sorry... our beds abit messy...
Mingyan so adorable right?! Holding onto a famous amos cookie.
That was our supper.

Mingli. (mingyan's sis) act busy only lor...

My comp.

I look pissed because i was really pissed. It was 1 am liao and i was

still printing lecture notes. Sian lor...

That's all folks!

grievances to share

What shall i say about first week of school... Hmm... Lectures were boring. I'm still searching for the momentum to get started on studying. Been slacking for way too long... The most agonising thing of all is that i've been prescribed econs as elective. To add on to my agony, i'd happily thrown all my econs notes away thinking that i wouldn't need to touch econs again. Oh shootx!

Actually, this is supposed to be an emo post. i'm feeling slightly down now. It's common that people change. For the good or bad, it'll depend. It's true that you'll get to know a person better through play or living together compared to normal vocal interactions. It brings me to the fact that 'nothing can last forever'.

Ok! I've discovered i'm beating about the bushes. The story goes like this. My friend has changed and her transformation has gotten on my nerves. She's spending more time and hanging out with her new friends and as a result the opportunity cost incurred is that she has neglected her old buddies. Her old buddies are starting to sense the change in her and are distancing themselves from her. The things she had done had left them hurt and irritated. Thankfully, her friends are not alone. They have themselves to comfort each other. Also, it serves as a learning point for them to not forget about their old friendships. Good friends are like treasures. Very difficult to find.

End of my emoing...

Anyway, i just have to concentrate on my own studies and how to become a better person. In the sense that i have to focus on treating people in a way that i like others to treat me. As for the rest and the things happening to others, it's not up to me to voice out my opinions. So just let things go the way it is... Jiayou Hazel!

I'm scared of jihong seniors trying to act nice but is filled up the their brim with ulterior motives. I fully subscribe to the view that 'there's no free lunch in this world'. So, keep our eyes peeled.

I'm currently rotting my precious life away in my austere home in Pulau NTU. I went to camp with plenty of preoccupations and crap. But then, thinking back, i think i've enjoyed myself even though i had embarrassed myself many times and did stupid senseless brainless things. However, i feel a sense of belonging to my hall. Plus, i've got to make many friends.

Anyway, my room is far from austere. I have like a humongous supply of food in my room. enough to last for war. I have nearly everything in my room which is why my senior commented that my room doesn't look like freshmen's room. LAUGH!!

Went to zouk yesterday night. We stayed till 1 plus and went for supper. We took the 3 am bus back to pulau ntu and i had freaking early lecture this morning. 8.30 am leh!! Siao!! I was falling asleep 3/4 of the lecture. Which i'm not proud of because i'm supposed to be a model student...

ok. I actually had a lot of things to say but can't remember what to say. Shall go for lunch. Cya!