I'm supposed to be doing tutorial but i've ended up HERE instead... Just feel like blogging even though i have no idea what to blog about. My sianified life.

Tonight will be a night of solitude. Roomie is going home while i'll be staying back because i think it's a waste of time to go home plus i can't stomach the fact of taking the 2 hours bus-train-bus ride back. Even though i do miss home and my smelly bed but i'm ok with staying in hall as well. So, it's the 'anything is fine' attitude just as long as i have a bed will do. Anywhere will be fine.

During this night of solitude, i'm going to sit cross legged on my bed and do some self reflection and pondering. I don't seem to know WTH is going on during lectures. I seem to flitting in and out of tutorials without gaining much understanding or knowledge. I'm in a whirlpool to nowhere. Whirling around without a sense of direction.

Guess it's time to pull up my socks. i should start mulling over things and be less lost. Last but not least I hate organic chem and biophysical chemistry. Like WTH. Actually i don't seem to have much interest in the things that i'm studying. Really admire those who study with passion when i can;t even muster out 0.01% of the so called 'zest to study'. Hazel, this is pathetic. I shall go draw circles on my bed...

Yesterday's F1 was a major Boo Boo!! WTH went wrong with ferrari?? My Massa and the stupid oil pipe attached incident... Where was the lollipop man when sugar was needed the most?? AH!!

But, let me emphasise, i'm not emo. Just felt it was a let-down. Initially though Raikkonen would be the saving grace. Ferrari's damn down on their luck.

I'm supposed to be having comp lab now! But i've given up acting intellectual while pretending to stare at the computer screen blankly. Looking pro and understand everything when in fact i don't know what the hell is going on. Went facebooking just now and decided to update my blog...

i don't know what the hell is going on... i don't know what i'm doing... Life is a whirlpool!

casual observation

My casual observations brought about some conclusions:

1) Guys generally have a better sense of direction than girls

2) Guys are generally better in IT stuff than girls

3) Guys are generally more thick-skinned than girls

4) Guys are generally less blur than girls

I'm not stereotyping. Note the word 'generally' . Of course the feminist part of me does agree strongly that there are exceptions to my own conclusions. For eg: some girls have a better sense of direction of the shopping malls.

As for me, i have a hopeless sense of direction and most of the time, i just grovel my way through based on instinct or pure luck. Even if i'm given one year to familiarise myself with NTU, i think i'll still get lost. I shall go purchase some idiot's guide to a better sense of direction. if such book exists...

i've painted my nails pink... Don't ask me why... it's all Bash's fault that's making me feel so spastically girly... i only painted three of my fingers and was about to give up when mummy miraculously appeared to save me from further damage.

I expect myself to feel weird and uncomfortable later when i'm in the black dress (my mum's one actually) and a pair of shoes which are supposed to look gold but actually aren't. The theme for bash is 'black and gold' btw. I don't have those bling bling eye catching gold stuff. Gold is not my cup of tea yet... Ask me again 30 years down the road. Maybe my opinion will change then.

My whole body is covered with insects' bites. I'm going to die from over exertion trying to scratch the horrendous red bumps. Damn itchy can! AH!! Stupid insects! I was mostly bitten at the field during softball training... I'm going to buy a carton of insect repellant soon.

When life gets too stressful, it's up to me to make myself better by indulging in comfort food... BUBBLE TEA!! My all-time favourite!
TADAH!! MY LOVE!

WHEE!!

I-SCREAM!! Sinking into a world of ecstasy.

*drool*

Such are the simple joy of life...

Saw this at a lantern festival at Chinese Garden. 'In teaching, there should be no class distinction.'

Try telling our professors to boycott quizzes and exams since Confucius said there shouldn't be any class distinction in learning. Try telling our beloved MOE to eliminate PSLE, Streamings, O levels and A levels...

I shall try to email this pic to my professors tomorrow... (if i have the time) haha!!

Boycott quizzes!!

I've ponned my 104 lecture to do my lab report. Why aren't i doing my lab report now? that's because my tutorial grp mates are off to lunch. I shall wait for them to feed their stomachs first before we start doing on our stupid comp lab report. It's really a colossal waste of time. Ah!!

I think some people may know about my emo-ishing plan... Here's how it goes. I'm going to pick a day whereby i'll go down to the carpark, sit on the floor, draw imaginary circles on the ground while waiting for things to miraculously happen like for instance: no more quiz forever, a year's supply of icecream/pocky biscuits, lectures become fun. And i really hope an Audi car will appear somewhere along my plan. Why?? Take a look below:

4 circles! Overlapping somemore. Doesn't it just complete the picture perfectly? It totally fits the theme since i intend to draw circles on the ground .

Is it just me or does anyone see the amusement in it? AHHH!!! I think i'm going bonkos. Retarded i am.

BS 101: We complete one chapter of JC's bio topic in one chapter. Fast paced. Scary!
BS 102: It's called the trip sci module. Biophysical chem. Damn disgusting. I can SO predict my impending death.
BS 103: Organic chem. How fun can organic chem get? disgusting.
BS 104: Biomolecules. The notes suck. Too many diagrams. Not much explanations. Self study to be done
HE 191: Econs... boring...
HA 205 : Govt & politics. I've already made the decision to S/U it.

That's some of the reasons why my life sucks.

OKKK!! My aim to be a model student compelled me to go for lectures and tutorials. However, the indifferent manner in the way lessons are conducted are starting to make me question: why am i even here? This is the harsh reality of life. I can only take it as it is. Hopefully, i won't let the prosaic side of my life get me. Regular checks on my emotions. Drawing circles on the ground like a super emo kid is actually therapeutic.

One last whine before i go. Some of of my tutors really suck. They are giving themselves self-tuition/revision, blabbering on and 90% of the things only they themselves can understand, boring, can't be bothered, boring... Sometimes i really feel like using my slippers and throw at them. Frustrating. Guess i have to be attuned to such detritus of my everyday life. If not, my lifespan is going to get shortened...

SIANZZ!!

Now i really feel like crying. My roomie aka Mingyan has gone home. She's having fever and muscle cum joints pain. Although my heart pains for her, a part of the pain is reserved for me too. I'm in a highly geared state of emoish-ness. I'm prepared to sit at the carpark later and draw circles on the ground in a bid to pass time as i wait for a car to knock me down.

i smsed Mingyan that i'll be fine and she doesn't need to worry about me. in fact, I'M NOT!! OMG! i'm so NOT fine. And so NOT going to be fine. I'll miss Mingyan. Imagine i have to sleep alone tonight in the austere tiny room wtih nothing to entertain me except myself. Can anyone imagine the pitiful scene?? Hopefully Mingyan won't chance upon this blog entry. It'll aggravate her condition by making her worry.

I'm OK! It's ok what. I can survive on my own...

OK!! That was SO pretentious and unconvincing even i'm NOT convinced.

I'm going to coop up in my room today, do nothing except to mope. I'm not going for softball. Don't feel like doing tutorials. Don't feel like going for tutorials. I just want to sit on my bed and emo. Thank you!

Had practical today. I think practical is fun but writing lab reports sucks BIG time. Hate doing lab report. It's nauseating and stomach-upsetting. All the different pHs...

Mingyan measuring the pH levels

Us!

Nice colours!

Ah... i'm so sick of school. Help!

I don't know how to feel... I'm leading the life of a bumble bee. I'm cranky at times because of the lack of sleep. But then, this is what i've chosen. I'm not happy to lead this kind of life. It will be a blatant lie to say that i like having the life. It'll sound disgustingly pretentious and unfathomable. Moreover, i'm worried about the academic aspects. I think i'm not coping very well with all different modules and crappy electives. I reckon i'm half submerged in shithole now.

AND, i wonder who was the one who said that uni's life is more relaxing compared to JC's. To me, it's comparable and sometimes even tougher. I wonder whether the seniors who came back to JC were on a mission given by their universities to try to project universities as a fun, happening, relaxing stress-free place. What bullshit!

Things that i'm involved in:
(just a mental note so that i'll be haunted)

-JCRC stuff (every now and then)
-24 sept Hall Bash at ButterFactory
-11 Oct D&D
-Trainings for IHG games (every week and i'm thinking of joining 3 games which means 3 trainings every wk. I hope they clash)
-High chance i'll be stuck in NTU for the whole of dec hols
-Pick up IT skills (URGENT!!)
-Be a model student
-Catch up with my school work (i don't understand some lectures. Freak!)
-Be a model student (is this like repetitive?)
-Learn to survive on 4 to 5 hours of sleep
-Tired but still push myself on with a smile

Jiayou to myself. I can do it!!

Nothing lasts forever, not even troubles.

Due to lack of sleep, i keep talking rubbish. I said something like "pandas are endangered animals and we should PRESERVE them.." Conserve sia... That drew a lot of laughter. And the problem was, i didn't notice my mistake even after blurting it out until a senior pointed out and laughed at me. haha!! damn funny can! Add salt and vinegar to the panda.

i'm running out of things to say...
my brain is comatose.
Bye!