Haha! went for tjc's guitar concert yesterday! The moment i stepped into Tjc, the first thing which came into my mind was, i'm so old le... The days of being a tjcian seem so distant. I kind of miss the dirty green precipitate looking uniform. Sometimes, actually many times, i do wish to go back to the past. Perhaps due to the lack of maturity, i had lesser preoccupations. And, i miss the feeling of hanging out with my friends.

Well... i'm having a flu... this isn't good. i need to recover fast before wednesday. That's the day whereby my new job commerces.

Talking about my new job, i kind of dread working. I'm reluctant to give up my holidays to work. My long awaited holidays... for the sake of money and the thrill of witnessing my bank account increasing in amount, i shall push myself on...

ARGH!! i really want to nua.... really really don't feel like working... :(

i feel like doing something... but i have no idea what to do... during these two days... before my job starts... what should i do?? *think*

i'm fat...

My bday cake number 1 Bday cake number 2
Bday cake number 3

Bday cake number 4: got doraemon on it somemore

Bday cake number 5

Now, you will know why i said i'm going to get fat or i'm already fat... LAUGH!!

I'm thankful to those who had made my wishes come true as well as those who had wished me a blissful bday. *touched*

It's almost surreal that i'm 20. OMG!! i'm 2o!! This is so damn scary can!! NOOOOO!!! *tugs my hair*

AHEM! i think i have to start acting like a 20 year old girl...

我老了.... :(

how many times

How many times have we neglected the people around us?

How many times have we turned a blind eye to loved ones who need help?

How many times have we tried to convince ourselves everything is fine when the truth is not?

How many times have we become so occupied with our own lives that we failed to show concern to our closed ones?

And how many times does the how many times... have to occur before we can wake up to our folly.

When i saw you cry, my heart pained as well...

You're not alone because we'll always be there for you...

To lighten things up, i look like dora the explorer now. If you do not know who dora is, go google. I was complaining to Mel but she told me dora is popular among girls and a lot of people buy dora stuff. didn't expect dora to be so popular.

It's all because of my hair la!! Even when i stare at my OWN reflection in the mirror, i feel like laughing... I always have hair-cut disaster... why is this so?

Had been quite busy for the past few days. I was seldom at home. I've neglected my family... :( (ok... i'm being overly dramatic)

Guess what i found in the fridge just now? Swensen's ice cream cake. The weather's insanely hot and i wanted to eat ice cream when i saw ICE CREAM CAKE in the fridge. Muahaha!! So we hijacked the cake (the cake belongs to my uncle cause it was his bday ytd) and they used it as MY bday cake and sang bday song for me. LAUGHS!

Today's not my bday la. My mum's one actually. But since she's in Malaysia, the daughter shall stand in her place and celebrate for her. Muahaha!

There will be a slumber party tonight!! Yay!! it started off as a random sms to chan mali. i asked her to organise one without exactly meaning it. I was being random. And she went to relay the message to the rest and poof! we're going to have a slumber party tonight. Imagine 6 girls, talking and gossiping throughout the night. We're going to talk crazy insane stuff once we run out of stuff to say. haha!

Spent the past few days wandering aimlessly at raffles place. People watched and people watched me. Imagine how my life would be in future... Life is so boring... (fizzles) Better enjoy as much as i can before i embark on my new job next wk. Sian...

Photoshop is fun!! haha!

Poorly exposed picture

Managed to brighten it up and at the same time makes me look like i'm glowing...

Combination of different hues and saturations.

Can you see it?? LOL!!

I think my hair sucks but i have no idea what to do with it. Cut it? But it's so boring to cut it short everytime right? Have no idea what to do.

Should i wear that black dress out later? I'm in a girly gilly mode. Blame it on... erm... nothing to blame la except for my own vanity. LOL! Haha!

I smsed chan chan to tell her to organise a slumber party and invite me. Haha!! Random.

This is going to be a boring entry... ...

It's mundane because i'm going to talk about my current job stint and results. haha! The two most boring subjects in this whole wide world.

I'm working at shenton way and my job stint only lasts for 3 days. Monday will be my last day at work. I was required to wear office wear-high waisted tight fitting skirt. Can't walk in big steps or attempt to leap from the bus. High waisted skirt makes my tummy itch because it constantly rubs against the sensitive skin of my tummy. :( I have the obligations to not reveal my job nature. However, to sum up, my job is really full of sai kangs. I have to edit articles or come up with things for the website. AND, my boss has pretty high expectations. The editing doesn't just merely involve grammatical error, vocab mistakes, punctuations etc. My boss required me to input my own ideas, research to provide examples to substantiate the points, edit edit edit. Sighs... And there are other things etc etc which i shan't reveal because i think it's quite erm... negative.

Yesterday, i was required to stay back to help her with some stuff. I left the workplace at 7 pm and to my horrors, the MRT was packed like shit. I had to watch 2 trains travelled past me with tears brimming in my eyes (ok... a gross exaggeration). I loathe commuting. But, she bought ben and jerry's for her staff including me when she went for lunch break. So i shall be more forgiving about it?

Well... i have found another job through the recommendation of my friend. I'm going to work at the airport as a thermal screener. 12 hrs shift work. It's going to be tiring but no choice la... i need the money. Looking on the bright side, i can people watch, stone and the job doesn't require brain power. So i can continue working while my brain goes into static or slumber mode. Who knows, maybe i can get to see cute angmohs... HAHAHA!! *winks winks*

Ok... switch topic. Although my results weren't very fantastic but the point worth being happy about is i've improved. Which is an achievement considering how hard i've worked. I'm contented with the results.

During the coming sem, i shall work harder and aim for higher grades. Must aim higher so that i have a goal to work for. In the sense, it'll make life more meaningful.

On the other hand, i have to cut down on my emo nonsense. I reckon it'll be hard. I'll still get emo no matter what.

I realise i haven't been to a slumber party before. I was hinting someone to organise a slumber party last night. Haha! I just thought it'll be fun to have a slumber party whereby we can talk all night or watch scary movies and cringe under the blankets together. Haha! Just a random thought.

be responsible for ur child

Lesson for today, once you have a child, you ARE responsible for him/her.

A man quit his job and he doesn't have any back up plans. His reason for quitting was job was too tough. So job, no income, how to support his children. Wife said if he doesn't contribute a single cent, their marriage is over. She will unceremoniously send a divorce letter to him.

Wife felt there isn't any point continuing on with the marriage anyway. Since the man has supplemented money just enough for his family to get by only because his wife scrimped and saved. He did not provide them with a proper roof over their heads and the family has to stay in people's home and 看脸色.

The point is, once you have children, you aren't living for yourself anymore. Even though your job is tough, you can't just quit without having any back up plans for your future. You need to spare a thought for your children. your actions will all have significant repercussions on your children...

The wife said she barely has enough money left to let her children have tuition. Even though her son didn't do well, there's nothing she can do because she simply can't afford ...

I cried... because i can feel her anguish and helplessness. A broken promise, a hurtful lie. That's all it takes to break down a marriage. The question of whether love lasts and promises hold, the truth is, i don't know.

When i say i have big mouth, i literally mean i have big mouth. Haha! Since i know how to enlarge my mouth using photoshop, next up will be to learn how to enlarge my boobs... HAHAHA!

I applied for relief teaching through the MOE website today. I think the chances of me getting to relief is pretty low since school holidays is coming soon. Even if i do get to relief, it'll only last for one month-July.

But it's worth a try since i'm considering to be a teacher. One month is a good enough duration to test my mettle whether i'm up to be a teacher. Haha!! In the meantime, cross my fingers.

I'm cramping!!! ARGH!! It's holidays now leh. i'm sleeping and eating well. I shouldn't be cramping. WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?? Pain pain pain... The sad thing is i need to go back to NTU later for meeting. :( hope the pain doesn't worsen. *prays*

Met up with some of the Lim family. i was told that my cousin is planning to get married, earlier than his older brother. It was a sudden thing. The first thing that came to my mind was 'shotgun'. Muahaha!! Sterotyping people again. He's going to get married to an Australian. We tried asking my uncle whether the girl's angmoh but i suspect he was on the high.

we: is she an angmoh?
uncle: australian
we: so angmoh la?
uncle: australian

You know australian can come in different forms. Our question is whether she's caucasian. ANG MOH! she can be australian born chinese or the aborigines of australia what... See what alcohol does to your brain. it detroys your nerve cells and retards you.

so, i'll be attending two weddings in one year. Haha!

and i saw fireworks at marina bay today! Cool!

Somebody said something which made me quite uncomfortable. she said something like 'we're ok with whatever things you order as long as you pay the bills '. i think they are leeching. Well... i pity my dad for having to live under one roof with four women. But what can i do? it's his choice what...

i guess i'm uncomfortable with the idea of my dad financially supporting people other than me. Is it a form of jealousy?

guess it's time to reinforce my position. I don't expect much from my parents. Sometimes i do pity them. They are sandwiched between me and their spouses. Therefore i have no heart to further worsen the situation.And i pity us for behaving like strangers although they are the reasons why i came to this earth. See the irony? They don't really know what's up in my life and neither do i make the initiative to tell them nor do they take the initiative to ask.

Here comes the cruel part... as long as they are supporting me financially, i'm alright with it. But, this is reality. I can survive without their care or love (not that they don't love me, just not enough or it's being over-ridden) but i can't survive without their money.

Like the other time i went back to hall to pack my stuff home. While i was returning keys to the hall's office, my mum and husband went to wait for me in the canteen. At first i wanted to treat them to drinks to show my gratitude for their help but they had already ordered drinks and food . (they didn't order for me) My mum asked whether i wanted anything after that but i pretended i wasn't hungry. The truth is, i was a tinge angry. i still think it's true like which parent wouldn't ask their children what they want to eat first before ordering right? But i was honestly sick of hall canteen's food that time as well. So i didn't feel like eating. Well...

That's how my parents are. It's either i accept it or i hate them.

And i choose to 看开点吧...

as long as i love myself more. And be contented with the love i receive.

and oh... i'm not exactly emo cause i've accept it long ago.

I Love this song!! :)))) Thanks chan chan!

You know what, results will be out soon. Like darn soon. 22nd may. LOUD SIGH!!!!

Hazel should refrain from sleeping right after she has eaten. For a couple of days, i was woken up due to my growling stomach. My stomach ordered me to wake up, brush my teeth, eat breakfast and after that, lethargy set in once again. Obviously, i went back to bed. Such behaviour should be condemned because it's fatteningly unhealthy.

My legs nearly gave way today. i walked a lot! haha! Eunice (my cousin) wanted to go out and so i accompanied her. We went to bugis and our first stop was bugis street. She wanted to take a look at haji lane and so i brought her there which was quite a distance from bugis. Haji lane has quite a few innovative and interesting shops. It's a pity we didn't bring our cameras along. After that, we walked back to bugis and eunice wanted to tour the new shopping mall- Iluma? We went to kfc to rest our legs for a while before walking to bras basah. we combed the entire building because i was searching for some art materials and she wanted to purchase guitar scores. On our way back to bugis mrt, we stopped at national library cause i had to answer nature's call. HAHAHA! we went to shop at bedok to buy our cheap white canvas shoes. Haha!

Action packed day man! But i like it!

i was just thinking... maybe in this world, true love does exist... (rarity maybe)

I've been to nga's house for a couple of times and observed the interactions between his dad and mum. Maybe because i don't get to see such affections in my daily life, that's why i observe things people wouldn't be bothered with... Affections between a husband and wife. The conclusion is, i think his parents are loving. It's in seemingly little things that they do, the genuine concern and care for each other.

Well... i think true love exists but will i have the chance to experience it so that it lasts for a lifetime?? that's another question to ponder...

I'm PMS-ing...

i feel like a 黄脸婆.

my cousin scored pretty badly for his SA1 and i had no choice but to advocate the use of caning. well... generally, guys are more naughty, rebellious and immature. My cousin is a guy so i have no choice but to cane him to instil some discipline in him. remember how the old adage goes, 'spare the rod, spoil the child'.

And i never expect myself to have to cane someone. It makes me feel like a mother...

Even though i tell myself that i will not force my children to study or demand that they get good results. Now, it makes me doubt that i can live up to that promise. i don't think i can remain saint-like and not fret over my childrens' results or unfeeling if they score badly. Guess circumstances won't allow. we're living in a harsh society.

HAI....

It seems that as one gets older, the problems one faces also increases simultaneously with age. Therefore, i don't look forward to getting older. I do not want the complications, the responsiblities, the intricacies, the bull shit associated with getting old. well... i have a lot of issues with regards to growing up, seriously.

On another note, i'm shamelessly lazing at home and super not proactive in looking for a job while my friends are panicking over having a job. i should bury myself man! for being such a shameless bummer. But... on the other hand, i just *clears throat* thought since it's holidays and holidays are meant to slack right? Of course it would be better if i can get a job and help supplement family's expenses but it seems like it's not exactly a pressing matter as long as i don't splurge and spend on exorbidant things, i should be able to get on fine. Plus, i have agreed to help guide my cousin in his schoolwork. And, i can also catch up with my readings and erm... perhaps obtain some enlightenments with regards to life.

Ok... see how shameless i am in making excuses for myself... Told you i deserved to be buried, alive.

While i'm learning some photoshop skills which explains the picture above. I'm amateur. Which explains the ordinary and nothing spectacular effect above. haha!! I'm learning still... learning still...

Happy mothers' day!!!

Liberation for Huichan!!
And as usual, we head down to town for a feast!

We waited till it was three for the sakae buffet. We were both super famished by then...

salmon sashimi! yum!

EMO HUICHAN!

Hazel is a happy girl when she is well-fed and doesn;t have to go to school

OMG!! i managed to capture chan chan smiling gleefully!

ACT demure... :P

desserts!

strawberry smiles and lychee moshis

Not forgetting, both of us had two chawanmushis each!

Chawanmushis rock!!!! :)

We camwhored at FAR EAST!

while Waiting for someone's reply...

Supposed to act dao but i think i erm... um chio-ed.

:P

as usual...

Now we really look dao!

Sleepy, moody, grumpy girls...

I think if my bf dares scream at me in public, i'll scream back.

If he dares push my hands away when i'm reaching out desperately for him, i think i would not forgive him that easily...

If he demands for breakup twice, i would go along with the demand. Because, i see no point in continuing when one has already screamed the ultimatum.

I'm not referring to my own relationship though... My bf still loves me very much. Haha! And... *blush* i still ... *Blush somemore* (THIS IS GOING TO BE SO ER XIN) i love my bf too!(ahhh!!! so er xin) We're happily in love with each other! (turning green and pukes) :P

well it's not my relationship to care... no point in me fretting over it...

You know how heaven or fate likes to play a mean trick. Lying to your friends will bring you karma! like serious! Just when you thought you had kept your friends shrouded in the lies you had spun, think twice. IT MAY NOT BE FOOLPROOF!

we bumped into our friend and realised she was lying to us. For what sake we don't know. What i know is, good friends shouldn;t lie to each other.

Finally kinder surprise! oh... they have renamed it kinder joy, is back on the shelves again!! Long time no see pal!! You're supposed to use that plastic white thing as a spoon

to scoop the dee-lee-cious chocolate up...

When i was young, i LOVED kinder surprise. ( i still love them though) haha!! When you were young, you are easily intrigued by such stuff. I remember getting all hyped up over the toy inside. Wondering what it would be. Had fun assembling it. And i'll be unexplainably proud over a new addition to my kinder collection... haha!

I got to eat the chocolate but my toy was stolen by the guy below...

wordsearching...

spastic face


spastic face 2.

Haha!!! The novelty of having nothing to do everyday is wearing off... I feel bored cooped up at home. Nvm... i'm going out tomorrow!! Haha!!

Shall think of a hobby to pass time. But, i have no idea whatever past time there is...

You know what... i have this urge to go shopping. It feels like thousands of ants crawling all over me.... haha!! Is it a good thing or bad? LOL!!

Muahaha!! i watched x men wolverine origins yesterday!! I like it!! HAHAHAHA!! i (heart) action packed movie! yay!!

I think i spent a rather large proportion of time looking at hot guys and their equally hot bods to match.

AND AND AND (sounding breathless) you know who's also in the show??

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
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DANIEL HENNY!!!!!! as agent zero. although i seriously think the
name sounds super cheesy...
Well... his name in the show sounds pretty ominous...
which is pretty true because he died a tragic, gruesome, horrible death in the end.
well... perhaps not to tragic because he totally deserved it in the show...
but the sad thing to the audience was...
with his death,
we have one less eye candy to salivate over... :(

See!! he's really cute...

wah lao! look at his abs...

Ok... i should give credits to other actors as well. Just to be fair. Hugh jackman also looked hot in the show. high protein diet, work outs, 5 meals a day to maintain such a body... no easy feat. haha!

while i was rambling about daniel henney in the show, nga said he totally had no idea who's daniel henney. HOW CAN ANYONE NOT KNOW WHO'S DANIEL HENNEY?? Ok... nga's a guy... so he can be pardoned right? i don't want nga to be gay...

Oh god... i should keep my over-passionate feelings for daniel henney more discreet. In case... nga hides at one corner and sobs his eyes out... he feels like his heart has been stabbed a million times. His mind brimming with jealousy. I must be discreet, i must be discreet...

Anyway, it's time for me to get fit. Shall go jogging tonight. i need to shed my fats. No matter how much i love them, they have to go away still... I need to get fit so that H1N1 has lower chance of intruding upon my body.

Everyone, let's get fit!!